Part 3: What Makes a Great Therapist? The Tori Olds Series
- Jordanthecounselor
- 8 hours ago
- 3 min read
Welcome back to our series, What Makes a Great Therapist?, where we use the science of Process Coding to analyze real sessions from master therapists frame-by-frame.
In Part 2 we looked at how to seed autonomy. Today, we are analyzing Part 3 of our deep dive into Tori Olds, Ph.D., and we are tackling the single biggest killer of deep emotional work: Intellectualization.
The fork in the road
In this session, the client has a moment of relief. She says, "It feels a little relieving."
At this exact moment, every therapist faces a fork in the road.
Path A (The Intellectual Trap):
"Why do you think that is?"
"When have you felt this relief before?"
"Does this remind you of your relationship with your mother?"
These questions sound like "good therapy," but they are actually exits. They invite the client to leave their body and go up into their head to explain, analyze, and tell stories.
Path B (The Experiential Dive):
"What kind of relieving?"
"What do you notice right now?"
"Stay with that relief. What does it need from us?"
Tori chooses Path B. She relentlessly directs the client back to the immediate, physical experience of the emotion. And because she does, the client moves from "relief" to "sadness" to a profound realization about pushing things down—all in under three minutes.
The Courage to Ask "Dumb" Questions
One thing you’ll notice in this video is that Tori asks versions of the same question over and over again.
"What do you notice?" "Stay with that." "What is it like to be with that?"
As therapists, we often feel anxiety when we do this. We worry, "I’m being repetitive. I sound like a broken record. I’m not 'adding value'." So we ask a new, "smarter" question just to prove we are working.
But this analysis shows us that repetition is a tool, not a flaw. By holding the client in the same question, we act as a container that forces the water level to rise. We aren't looking for new information; we are looking for deeper experiencing.
The Pivot: When the Client Tries to Escape
Even when we stay focused, clients will often try to intellectualize themselves. They might say, "This reminds me of when I did mindfulness meditation... should I get back into that?"
In the video, I break down exactly how to handle this using a Persuasive Rationale. You don't just ignore them; you pivot.
"That’s a great question about meditation, and we can look at that later. But right now, my sense is there is something happening in your body that really needs us to track it. Can we stay here for just a minute longer?"
Watch the Breakdown
If you want to see exactly how to spot "The Intellectual Trap" and how to guide a client back to their feelings without being pushy, watch the full breakdown below.
Check out the video here:
Listen here:
Best,
Jordan (the counselor)
Jordan Harris Ph.D, LMFT-s, LPC-s, is a specialist in what makes a master therapist. He regularly offers trainings teaching this skills of master therapists. You can learn more about Dr. Harris's trainings here.
Jordan Harris Jordan Harris, Ph.D., LMFT-S, LPC-S, received his Doctor of Philosophy in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Louisiana Monroe. He is a licensed professional counselor and a licensed marriage and family therapist in the state of Arkansas, USA. In his clinical work, he enjoys working with couples. He also runs a blog on deliberate practice for therapists and counselors at Jordanthecounselor.com
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