ISTDP's Patricia Coughlin Is A Master Therapist. Here's The 15 Things She Taught Me (Part 2).
A few weeks back I wrote up part one of what I learned from Patricia Coughlin. She a trainer in a little known model called Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP).
In the training she presented two sex therapy cases. I was very impressed.
So here's part 2 of what I've learned from Coughlin.
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8. Sometimes sexuality and connection can reintegrate automatically, but sometimes we also have to help people reintegrate.
One of the things I've heard my Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) friends say is, "once you fix the relationship problems, then the sexual problems resolve themselves."
That seems crazy to me.
First, I've not seen that in the literature. The EFT literature on sex therapy I've seen says the opposite. That once you help people communicate, they still have to address the sexual connection.
Second, I've not seen that in practice. When I get clients who've seen other EFT therapists, they still have sexual problems.
If it's not happening, why do clinicians say that it works that way?
In Coughlin's training she clearly showed us how her patient had his aggression fused with his sexuality- he had rape fantasies. Then she showed us how she helped him disentangle the two. This happened fairly early in the therapy, but he was still unable to get an erection with his wife. So Coughlin had to reintegrate his sexuality with the patient's feelings of connection and love.
That makes much more since with what I've seen. I guess sometimes sexuality and connection can reintegrate automatically, but sometimes we also have to help people reintegrate.